I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
