i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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