So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.