Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
