I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
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What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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