I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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