the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.