I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.