Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?