Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again