I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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