I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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