Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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