just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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