oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if only i could text you this smell
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So much rum. So many feels.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize