walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
