lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize