My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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