i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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