It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
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Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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