I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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