Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
