I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think my vagina is haunted
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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