Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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