Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
