All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
