Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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