what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..