ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.