She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time