Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends