$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.