I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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