You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
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I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I would ride that face into the sunset