is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am