Grow some girl-balls and come out already
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.