I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
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Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka