It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
what day is it and did you see me today?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?