We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
