Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
