I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
