Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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