Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize