You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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