She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
