Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
