can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't think brook has ever known best
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
