We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
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i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
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Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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