my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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