Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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