those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
