You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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