Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.

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  (919): I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/250u
  Replies (24) Good night (2812) Bad night (681)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod

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  (256): I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod http://tfl.nu/7c05
  Replies (35) Good night (1136) Bad night (3075)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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  (330): if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would. http://tfl.nu/x08w
  Replies (16) Good night (3990) Bad night (1202)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.

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  (708): I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored. http://tfl.nu/z508
  Replies (5) Good night (2859) Bad night (1386)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  he just came in and straightened the chair and left again

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  (905): he just came in and straightened the chair and left again http://tfl.nu/sy2j
  Replies (4) Good night (2476) Bad night (824)
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  (578): View more from

  You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"

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  (578): You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide" http://tfl.nu/y8fp
  Replies (6) Good night (2990) Bad night (894)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.

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  (864): its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/4cn9
  Replies (2) Good night (1795) Bad night (732)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...

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  (647): I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized... http://tfl.nu/nrq1
  Replies (13) Good night (1765) Bad night (737)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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  (817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9
  Replies (8) Good night (664) Bad night (3576)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.

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  (314): No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was. http://tfl.nu/6619
  Replies (2) Good night (1387) Bad night (444)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.

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  (954): Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something. http://tfl.nu/6993
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is why you're my favorite.

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  (773): if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass. (815): This is why you're my favorite. http://tfl.nu/6wk2
  Replies (3) Good night (1485) Bad night (398)
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  (530): View more from California

  I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me

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  (530): I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me http://tfl.nu/myp4
  Replies (1) Good night (953) Bad night (290)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw

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  (847): Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw http://tfl.nu/0d0p
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang

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  (623): Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang http://tfl.nu/tn14
  Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (532)

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