i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.