Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar (651): If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either http://tfl.nu/6h7r
  Replies (24) Good night (741) Bad night (4105)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (1981) Bad night (11105)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught http://tfl.nu/rq68
  Replies (13) Good night (4980) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever. http://tfl.nu/u669
  Replies (18) Good night (1212) Bad night (7519)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming http://tfl.nu/c7ht
  Replies (6) Good night (3336) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke. http://tfl.nu/o9qp
  Replies (5) Good night (4675) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that. http://tfl.nu/u3z8
  Replies (7) Good night (2358) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window http://tfl.nu/dk3n
  Replies (10) Good night (2000) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets. http://tfl.nu/f9nv
  Replies (6) Good night (1315) Bad night (2589)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them. http://tfl.nu/oqni
  Replies (6) Good night (1657) Bad night (2867)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone http://tfl.nu/c8bq
  Replies (9) Good night (3521) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious. http://tfl.nu/psu6
  Replies (3) Good night (1205) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future http://tfl.nu/peo6
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender. http://tfl.nu/s55r
  Replies (5) Good night (1572) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooooo, no second date?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store. (508): Sooooo, no second date? http://tfl.nu/ghyh
  Replies (5) Good night (329) Bad night (738)

Randomize