it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
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we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face