Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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