I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
