I wish my penis had an off switch
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
