I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize