Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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