I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
