I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
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You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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