I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize