she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
